Book Addiction

He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti

From the back cover -

Double standards are nothing new.  Women deal with them every day.  Consider the following examples:

• He’s a Hipster, She’s a Ho
• He’s Gay, She’s a Fantasy
• He’s Angry, She’s PMSing
• He’s Independent, She’s Pathetic
• He’s Successful, She’s a Showoff
• He’s Dating a Younger Woman, She’s a Cougar

Women are held to a different standard than men.  And mostly we just put up with it - but we don’t have to.  Jessica Valenti offers 50 solutions to 50 of the most pressing double standards that women confront.  With sass, humor, and in-your-face facts, she informs and equips women with the tools they need to combat sexist comments, topple ridiculous stereotypes, and end the promotion of insidious double standards.

My thoughts -

The good news is, I feel like this book will be really helpful for younger feminists, middle school, high school, or college women, who are just beginning to understand the ways sexism permeates their every day lives, and who are just beginning to have those light bulb moments where they realize feminism is important for EVERY woman.  This book will help those women expand their developing feminist thinking, understand how the larger world really does discriminate against women in almost every situation, and have a better idea of how to deal with these double standards when faced with them in daily life.

The bad news, however, is that I wasn’t the biggest fan of this new one by Valenti.  I am a huge fan of hers, I love her website (Feministing.com) and love her first book, but this book honestly did not provide me with any information I did not already have.  There’s a reason she chose to write about these double standards - they are SO pervasive, so obvious, such common experiences of most women that to not know about them and understand them would be a problem as a woman living in today’s world.  While I appreciate what she did with this book, I simply didn’t get much out of it.  Valenti explained everything well enough and used very current examples, but her “what do we do about it?” sections also fell a little flat for me.  Her most common solution was “call people out on their bullshit” or “don’t let someone treat you this way”.  While both those suggestions are important and should be done, I wouldn’t say either of them would actually solve these real problems or teach a more ignorant individual about the importance of NOT using a double standard.  At the same time, what else can one person really do except educate the people they know?… not much, I suppose. 

So while I think this new one by Valenti is an important contribution to feminist literature, it simply was not one of my personal favorites.  I’d still recommend reading it to anyone eager to learn more about feminism, and especially anyone who does not believe double standards exist… this book will help clarify the very real fact that these double standards do in fact infect our lives on a daily basis.

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

From the inside cover -

First published in 1963, The Feminine  Mystiqueignited a revolution that  profoundly changed our culture, our consciousness, and our  lives. Today it newly penetrates to the heart of  issues determining our lives — and sounds a call to arms against the very real dangers of a new feminine mystique in the economic and political  turbulence of the 1990s.

Three decades later,  the underlying issues raised by Betty Friedan strike  at the core of the problems women still face at  home and in the marketplace. As women continue to  struggle for equality, to keep their hard-won gains,  to find fulfillment in their careers, marriage and  family, The Feminine Mystique  remains the seminal consciousness-raising work of  our times.

My thoughts -

This book is one of the most important feminist works of all time, if not THE most important feminist work.  It took me awhile to get through, because Friedan researched the heck out of this thing.  It’s full of statistics, citations from literary journals, interviews with real women, and quotes and stories from popular books and magazines.  I’m so glad I finally got to this book, though, because it is so incredibly important.  Reading Friedan’s book makes you wonder where in the world we’d be without it.  She has made such an important contribution to women’s lives today that there simply aren’t enough words to effectively describe how crucial this book was/is.

Having said that, it’s remarkably sad to me that many of the issues she was sure would be solved by the 80’s are still serious issues today.  She cites Roe v. Wadeas a monumental step for women’s rights, but that decision is now being questioned and attempts to revoke it have been made, and will continue to be made, by politicians and judges on both sides of the political spectrum.  Friedan talks about how gaining access to child care and financial resources for women to further their educations and professional training is one of the first step to women’s freedom, yet today we still struggle with both these obstacles.  Only the middle and upper classes can afford quality day care for their children, and most women cannot even dream of having the financial ability to go back to school after having children.  Sexual harassment in the workplace, the glass ceiling,  and the great pay divide still trap professional women to this day.  Even worse, the word “feminism” now has such a negative connotation associated with it that most women, professional and otherwise, are completely turned off from using it to describe their personal beliefs.  It’s hard that these are still such pressing problems, in 2008, but as long as there are still people working toward solving them, I have not given up hope.  Millions are women do continue to be inspired by people such as Friedan, and the modern feminist movement reflects that.

My favorite part of The Feminine Mystique is the epilogue, when Friedan explains how she started NOW (the National Organization for Women) and made it such an unbelievably powerful and successful organization from nothing.  This section is the most hopeful of the book, although one can see how many of the issues are still here today, it is also evident how much NOW has accomplished in its relatively short history, and what an amazing woman Friedan really is.

10 stars.

Full Frontal Feminism:  A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters by Jessica Valenti

From the back cover -

Feminism isn’t dead. It just isn’t very cool anymore. Enter Full Frontal Feminism, a book that embodies the forward-looking messages that author Jessica Valenti propagates on her popular website, Feministing.com. Covering a range of topics, including pop culture, health, reproductive rights, violence, education, relationships, and more, Valenti provides young women a primer on why feminism matters. Valenti knows better than anyone that young women need a smart-ass book that deals with real-life issues in a style they can relate to. No rehashing the same old issues. No belaboring where today’s young women have gone wrong. Feminism should be something young women feel comfortable with, something they can own. Full Frontal Feminism is sending out the message to readers — yeah, you’re feminists, and that’s actually pretty frigging cool.

Question - I’m thinking about purchasing another copy and doing a giveaway, simply because I feel that this book is a really important one and I would love to share it with a budding feminist out there.  Please let me know if there would be any interest in this giveaway at all, because I’d be purchasing another copy (obviously, I want to keep mine) so I won’t do it unless people actually want to win it.  So let me know if you’d want to read this book!  Thanks

Female Chauvinist Pigs:  Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy

From Publishers Weekly:

What does sexy mean today? Levy, smartly expanding on reporting for an article in New York magazine, argues that the term is defined by a pervasive raunch culture wherein women make sex objects of other women and of ourselves. The voracious search for what’s sexy, she writes, has reincarnated a day when Playboy Bunnies (and airbrushed and surgically altered nudity) epitomized female beauty. It has elevated porn above sexual pleasure. Most insidiously, it has usurped the keywords of the women’s movement (liberation, empowerment) to serve as buzzwords for a female sexuality that denies passion (in all its forms) and embraces consumerism. To understand how this happened, Levy examines the women’s movement, identifying the residue of divisive, unresolved issues about women’s relationship to men and sex. The resulting raunch feminism, she writes, is a garbled attempt at continuing the work of the women’s movement and asks, how is resurrecting every stereotype of female sexuality that feminism endeavored to banish good for women? Why is laboring to look like Pamela Anderson empowering? Levy’s insightful reporting and analysis chill the hype of what’s hot. It will create many aha! moments for readers who have been wondering how porn got to be pop and why feminism is such a dirty word.

My thoughts:

I thought this was a very quick and easy read, and also a very insightful look at today’s “raunch culture” as Levy calls it.  In this book, she skillfully analyzes the ways in which women feel empowered now, and explains how the majority of them are not in any way empowering, such as going to strip clubs, getting fake breasts, reading, watching, or acting in porn, etc.  Levy explicitly says several times throughout the book that she is in no way coming out AGAINST any of these behaviors, per se, just taking the position that all of these activities are done for the pleasure of men, and they are all based off men’s desires and men’s fantasies.  She explains that in order for women to actually feel sexually empowered, we should figure out what WE like, what turns us on, what makes us happy, and what makes us feel good and proud of ourselves, and start looking toward that instead of feeling empowered simply by being a token of a man’s desire.  I am having a little difficulty putting into words exactly why I enjoyed this book so much, but honestly, just read it.  It’s pretty short but very concise and really speaks for itself.

Rating:  9/10

Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities by Alexandra Robbin

Summary: Despite the provocative subtitle, most of the information gathered by the author as she went undercover as a sorority girl is nothing especially new. After all, everyone knows sororities can be exclusive, conformist, and superficial organizations. But Robbins’ account of life inside the sorority house still makes for fascinating reading. Following four sorority sisters through their first year in the house, a world of sex, drugs, eating disorders, and insecurity is revealed. One wonders, though, if these experiences are that different from the experiences of those students not affiliated with Greek societies. What is arguably different, though, is the extreme pressure brought to bear on these young women to repress their own natural instincts, desires, and inclinations in order to fit in with an amazingly shallow and often unworthy group of friends. Where the author really scores is in her analysis of why otherwise intelligent and sensitive women would sacrifice their independence, and often self-respect, for the sake of an artificially engineered secret society.

My thoughts:

This book definitely hooked me from the beginning. Robbins followed four girls, from two different sororities at two different campuses, through the course of an entire year - the girls’ first full year as sorority sisters in their prospective sororities. The idea of being in a sorority has never interested me personally - I just don’t connect with the idea of complete exclusivity, especially when you are required to live, eat, take classes, and party with only the girls who are your “sisters”. Add that to the fact that I’ve never exactly been the “cool” kid, and it’s pretty obvious why I wouldn’t feel like I’d belong in this type of group. Having said that, this first hand account of what really goes on in sororities was absolutely fascinating to me. The weird thing was, even with all the negative stuff (most of which I already knew or could have assumed anyway) Robbins “exposed”, I found myself sort of wishing I had thought about rushing when some of the better things about sororities were talked about in the book. Some of the girls were just so in love with their sisters and so close to all the girls in the house that it made me feel like it might be fun to have 150 girls who would do anything for me. But obviously, the things about sororities that make them so foreign and weird to me came to light and I quickly realized how ridiculous it would be for me to have even thought about that when I was in college.

Robbins did a really good job, in the last chapter, of being pretty fair-minded and non judgmental in her analysis of her year of observation. She made some really good points about the potential benefits of sororities to college women, but then spent the majority of her analysis on everything that sororities need to do to clean up the lifestyle and the idea of the organization as a whole. Overall it was a very interesting read, especially if you have had little to no exposure to sorority life like myself.

Are Men Necessary?: When Sexes Collide by Maureen Dowd

Summary: Sex is a topic generally considered unsuitable for polite conversation. Ah, but the intrepid New York Times columnist, winner of a Pulitzer Prize in 1999, steps up to the plate to hit some fly balls well out of the field as she discusses sexual realities and absurdities, doing so with the same verve and nerve with which she handled the other hot-button topic–politics–in her 2004 best-seller, Bushworld. Dowd is hilarious, cutting, and provocative–in other words, perfectly willing to express her vision of the truth without an ounce of reservation. And isn’t that why readers gravitate to her? Her new book arises from her New Times columns, and her observations on how men and women relate lead to pithy commentary on the contradictory path feminism has taken (”the new urban legend is about a young man who loses a girl by asking her to split the check”), the superior suitability of women as political leaders (”women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day”), and other topics more timid conversationalists would stay away from. Thank goodness she doesn’t.

My thoughts:

Honestly, I’m not sure what to think of this one. Dowd definitely has her moments of hilarity, that’s for sure. Throughout the book, she also had much to say about serious gender issues we continue to have in this country, even though womens’ liberation was supposed to have fixed all that. I enjoy Dowd’s writing style but I kind of feel like it got old after 200 or so pages; perhaps she’s better off in the op-ed section, for me. But like I said, I do think what she has to say about gender disparities and women’s issues is important; she is a powerful and truthful voice against the chorus of backlash against women. To me, this is a valuable read, an important contribution to feminist literature, but at the same time could have been done better with less rambling and in a more concise format.