People Who Eat Darkness by Richard Lloyd Perry

People Who Eat Darkness: The True Story of a Young Woman Who Vanished from the Streets of Tokyo – and the Evil that Swallowed Her Up by Richard Lloyd Perry
Published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, an imprint of Macmillan
Review copy received at SIBA

In the summer of 2000, twenty-one-year-old Lucie Blackman traveled to Tokyo with her best friend to spend several months living and working there. One night, she simply didn’t come home, and her family and friends never saw her again. Months later, her body was found, and the investigation into her disappearance became a murder investigation. Richard Lloyd Perry spent more than ten years covering Lucie’s disappearance and later investigation into her murder. He earned the trust of her family, friends, and even the Japanese authorities, who normally are some of the most tight-lipped investigators in the world. By the end of his time spent on this case, Perry even got to know the man accused of kidnapping and killing Lucie, and determined that this man is one of the most evil people Perry had ever come across.

I very rarely read true crime, but if all true crime were as captivating and compelling as People Who Eat Darkness, I would certainly read it more! Although the book is a chunkster at almost 500 pages, I flew through this thing in no time. I was alternately fascinated, shocked, intrigued, and horrified at the events that took place in Lucie’s life once in Tokyo and at the psychopath that is Joji Obara, the man accused of killing her.

This book reads almost like a novel, in that Perry successfully helps the reader get to know Lucie, building to the point where she moves to Tokyo, and then walking the reader through her life in Tokyo, slowly getting to the point at which she disappears and then details the investigations that follow. Since the reader knows Lucie’s ultimate fate, anticipation slowly builds over the course of the book as Perry gets closer and closer to revealing what actually happened to her.

Perry also gives the reader a very detailed, intimate look inside the Japanese justice system and its many imperfections. In some ways, their system is better than ours in the United States (and I’m sure others around the world), but in other, some essential ways to this particular case, it is much worse. It was so interesting to me to learn about the way their laws, interrogations, and investigations work because the Japanese do things so vastly different from how investigations are conducted in the US. One might expect that Perry’s meticulous attention to detail could bog the reader down with facts and police procedurals, but for me, it was the exact opposite – I was fascinated by these parts of the book and couldn’t stop reading, anxious as I was to keep learning more.

Reading this book was really going out on a limb for me, something very outside my comfort zone, but it was an incredibly compelling book that I highly recommend. This is a must-read if you are into true crime, but also if you like thrillers, mysteries, and horror, because People Who Eat Darkness truly reads like a novel. Highly recommended!

Love Times Three by Joe, Alina, Vicki and Valerie Darger

Love Times Three: Our True Story of a Polygamous Marriage by Joe, Alina, Vicki and Valerie Darger
Published by HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins
Review copy received at SIBA

From the publisher:

He runs his own business and coaches Little League. She drives a minivan, and she’d be lost without her trusty BlackBerry. They go on date nights. Their kids attend public schools, play sports, and take music lessons. They live in a roomy house in the ‘burbs. They’re about as mainstream as families come.

They’re also polygamists.

Love Times Three, the first-ever memoir of a polygamous family, is a riveting inside look at a world most of us can hardly imagine, revealing the extraordinary workings of the Dargers’ day-to-day life.

In this intimate, inside story, the Dargers explain why they chose this path despite the pressures of keeping their relationships secret and the jealousy and personal challenges that naturally ensue, why they believe polygamy should be an accepted lifestyle, and, ultimately, why they hope that by revealing their way of life in public, laws that criminalize their lifestyle might change.

I’m not afraid to admit that the whole concept of polygamy is fascinating to me. I’d venture to say that I’m like most women in that the idea of sharing my husband with another woman is horrifying and not something I’d even consider. What’s fascinating about it is that I’m appalled by the idea, yet completely aware of the fact that there are women who actually choose this life, actually want to share their husbands with another woman, or in this case, with a couple of other women. And I have to admit, in this book the Dargers made me believe that they believe in it, that they truly believe that this is what God wants for them, and that this is the right choice for each one of them individually and for the four of them as a family.

While Love Times Three isn’t the most well-written book out there, the four members of the Darger family presented a compelling case for why their life is just like ours, except for the fact that they have more people in their household than most families. Once I got into the book, I was almost able to forget that I was reading about a polygamist family and instead felt like I was reading about how each of these couples (Joe with each of his wives) met and fell in love, and created a home, family, and life together. I have to say, the four of them come off as incredibly genuine, real, honest people who are just trying to be accepted for who they are, and for who they believe God has created them to be. I couldn’t help making a comparison in my mind to the concept of gay marriage, which I firmly believe should be legal. So many of the arguments the Dargers make for why they should be allowed to be legally married echoed those of the pro-gay marriage arguments that it woke me up and alerted me to the fact that, hey, these people just want their love recognized under the law just like you or I. I gotta say, I can see their point.

This book was honestly a kind of revelation for me. I am still fascinated by this concept, and cannot even imagine living this life myself, but I have to tell you that Love Times Three opened my eyes a bit. If these four people are all consenting adults in their relationship, what’s the harm in that? I think there’s definitely some questions in my mind as far as raising kids to believe that polygamy is the “right” way to do things, but what’s the difference between that and raising kids to believe any particular religion is “right”? Kids grow up and make their own choices anyway. I don’t know. Bottom line, I’m glad I read this one because it forced me to look inside myself and take apart my own preconceived notions, assumptions, and judgement about the polygamous culture and “lifestyle” (although I hate that word when used towards the LGBT community so I probably shouldn’t use it in this context either, but whatever). Anyway … recommended!

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan
Published by Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster
Review copy received at SIBA

When Susannah Cahalan was twenty-four years old, she found herself strapped to a hospital bed with no memory of how she got there. She learned that she’d spent the past month undergoing hallucinations, violent behavior, seizures, and had consequently been in the hospital that entire time with no doctors able to figure out why. This memoir is Cahalan’s story of how she went crazy and came back from the madness, thanks to a team of doctors that searched hell and high water for a diagnosis.

I was interested in reading this book because anything related to psychology fascinates me. If you read the book in its entirety you will learn that what happened to Cahalan had little to do with any kind of psych disorder, but that’s not the point – everyone in her life believes, and she believes, that she’s gone crazy.

It was amazing to me how many doctors spent time with Cahalan and dismissed her symptoms as something other than what they ended up being. It seemed like so many of the medical professionals she worked with just wanted to give her an answer, any answer, instead of really digging deep to figure out what was wrong. I felt so deeply for what she was going through, but honestly I felt worse for her family – Cahalan was in a haze most of the time and has few concrete memories from this time in her life, but her family, boyfriend, and close friends had to watch her as she dwindled down to a shell of the person she used to be. It must have been absolutely heartbreaking to watch that happen to someone you love.

As for the book itself, it definitely held my interest and I was fascinated by Calahan’s story and everything she went through. I felt an immense sense of relief for her and her family when doctors FINALLY got to the bottom of this horrific situation. I have to admit that I felt the book dragged in some spots, especially in the middle, but for the most part I was anxious to find out what would happen to Cahalan, which kept me turning the pages.

I would absolutely recommend Brain on Fire for those interested in medical mystery type books, as what happened to Susannah Cahalan can only be described as a medical mystery. Recommended!

Mini-reviews: The Great Gatsby & Marriage Rules

I don’t have a whole lot to say about either of these books so I thought I’d treat you to a couple mini-reviews today!

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Audio published by Caedmon, an imprint of HarperCollins

In anticipation of the movie coming out in May, I decided to reread The Great Gatsby, a novel I read in high school but haven’t picked up since. The audio was brilliantly performed by Tim Robbins, so it was an excellent listening experience, and I’m glad I reread this book because turns out there’s a LOT I forgot in the 13 years since I read it the first time. I forgot how utterly depressing the last part of this book is, and I got way more swept up in the characters and the drama of it all than I did when I read it the first time. Perhaps this is because I’m more mature than my sixteen-year-old self (I’d certainly hope that’s the case) or perhaps because it was required reading the first time around, but I enjoyed the book quite a bit more this time around. Also I definitely didn’t remember how absolutely gorgeous the writing is. At several points, I replayed portions of the audiobook because the writing was like poetry to me and I wanted to experience it again. Great book and now I’m even more excited for the movie.

Marriage Rules: A Manuel for the Married and the Coupled-Up by Harrier Lerner
Published by Gotham, an imprint of Penguin

My marriage is incredibly important to me, and while I don’t read a lot of self-help books, I’m always open to hear about what the “experts” have to say about sustaining a healthy, happy relationship. My relationship isn’t in trouble, not by any means, but this stuff is interesting to me, and who doesn’t want an even better marriage than they already have? Anyway, I liked this book. The “rules” are super-simple, easy things that are truly common sense. However, if you’re in a bad place in your relationship (we’ve all been there), common sense when it comes to your relationship isn’t so common. We get these blinders on when we’re angry, hurt, or whatever, and these tips from Ph.D. Lerner really can help to see through the emotions and work on what really needs fixing in the relationship. The common theme here is this – the only person you can change is you, and here are things YOU can do to do your part in improving your relationship, or in maintaining the great relationship you already have. This book covers a lot of ground, and it didn’t give me a ton of insight besides what I already knew to be true, but I did get some stuff out of it. And I think for couples in trouble, this book could be really helpful.

Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots by Deborah Feldman

Unorthodox: The Scandalous Rejection of My Hasidic Roots by Deborah Feldman
Published by Simon & Schuster

Deborah Feldman grew up in the ultra-conservative Satmar sect of Hasidic Judiasm, and as such her entire life was scripted and dictated by rules – what she could wear, eat, read, and who she could and couldn’t interact with on a daily basis. When she found herself in an arranged marriage as a teenager, in a life she couldn’t imagine being trapped in forever, Deborah decided that enough was enough and she made the decision to drastically change her life.

I am fascinated with religion of all kinds, and I am the most fascinated by religions I can’t quite wrap my brain around, so I knew that Unorthodox would be an incredibly interesting read for me. For the most part, that was absolutely the case. I definitely hung on to Feldman’s every word, anxious to learn more and more about this religion that I have difficulty comprehending, and excited to find out when, why, and how she would finally get out of this world. While the book did have a few pitfalls for me, overall it was well worth my time and very interesting.

Feldman spends the vast majority of her memoir describing for the reader what life was like for her growing up in a Hasidic Jewish family. She details the rules, the rituals, everything she hated about it, but also she isn’t afraid to talk about what she did find comforting and happy about growing up in this life. Not going to lie, there wasn’t much Feldman enjoyed about her growing up years, but she was definitely loved as a child and she’s able to see that and show it to the reader. The older Feldman got, the more distressing her religion became for her, as the rules and restrictions get stricter as young girls become teens and young adults. She found that so much of her religion was confusing for her, and she explains to the reader why as a child much of what she was taught simply didn’t make common sense to her. I was shocked by a few of the things Feldman described but mostly I was just fascinated by this entirely foreign (to me) religion and way of life.

Feldman spends very little time talking about her life after leaving the religion, which makes sense since she wrote the book shortly after leaving. I would have liked a little more in terms of analysis and going a bit deeper into her thoughts and feelings, but I can understand why there wasn’t as much of that as I would have liked – she was still incredibly raw from her childhood when she wrote the book. The memoir was more like a detailed account of what happened throughout her childhood than anything else, which is okay, and like I said was definitely interesting, but I guess I would have liked just a bit more. I think it’s because of the way Feldman wrote the memoir, but I never felt particularly close to her or connected with her in any real way. I just think the book would have been a bit more enjoyable for me had Feldman established a stronger connection with the reader.

Having said that, while I can admit Unorthodox had its drawbacks for me, overall it was still a memoir I can solidly recommend. Especially for those of you who (like me) are fascinated by all things religion, this is a great choice. Feldman details her childhood growing up in a Hasidic Jewish family with respect but with the honesty her experiences deserve. The book is also well-written and compelling. Recommended!

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Published by St. Martin’s Griffin, an imprint of Macmillan
Review copy provided by the publisher via Netgalley

The year is 1986 when we meet Eleanor and Park, two misfit high school students who find in one another everything missing in each of their lives. This is a story of an unlikely pair, of first love, of two teenagers trying to figure things out, of two teenagers that believe to the core of their souls that everything will be okay in the world as long as they have each other.

This is perhaps one of the most adorable love stories I have ever read. These kids are so out of place at their school, they each have stuff going on at home that is heartbreaking, yet what they find in one another is the unconditional love each is so desperate for. My heart was full to bursting as I read the story of how their barely-friendship turned into the kind of all-consuming love we all long for and hope to find.

Eleanor & Park is more complex and layered than your typical love story. Eleanor and Park deal with bullying, issues at home (including abuse), racism, and more. They are two kids who have to grow up over the course of the novel, both in love and in life. But what’s so beautiful is that they do this growing up together, as a couple, but also as individuals. It’s brilliant to read and by the end of the book, I was in tears and in awe at these two amazing kids. I loved them.

Eleanor & Park is such a winning combination of a great story, excellent and true characters, and pure heart that I couldn’t put this book down. I thoroughly enjoyed it and highly recommend this fantastic novel.

Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity by Andrew Solomon

Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity by Andrew Solomon
Published by Scribner, an imprint of Simon & Schuster
Review copy received at SIBA

Far From the Tree, which came about after Solomon conducted ten years of research, stems from the idea that diversity is more uniting than it is dividing. He investigates parents who have children with various needs and issues different from their own – the book covers dwarfism, autism, deafness, schizophrenia, Down’s Syndrome, severe disabilities, children who are prodigies, who are conceived in rape, who are criminals, and who are transgender. Each of the parents Solomon studies are dealing with different specific challenges, yet their experiences are curiously similar. The idea for the book was inspired by Solomon’s own difficulties in being accepted by his family, and by himself, for his identity as a gay man, and his decision upon arriving at this acceptance to become a parent.

I was handsold this book at SIBA and let me tell you, I did not want to read it. The ARC is 700 pages plus 300 more of appendices, sources, etc., and it was way overwhelming for me. However, I was so captivated by the rep’s unabashed love for this book that I couldn’t say no. And after it sat on my shelf for a few months, I realized that I really needed to dive in and give it a try, if not so I could decide it wasn’t for me, pat myself on the back for trying, but ultimately give up.

But that is not what happened! Because oh my gosh, Far From the Tree is amazing. Brilliant. Gorgeous. It made cry. It made me laugh. It made me shake in terror at the idea of being a parent. But also, hope someday to become a parent and love my child as unselfishly and as completely as these parents love theirs. There are not enough words, not enough ways to explain, how much this book touched me. It’s that fantastic.

The book is epic in scope, it is clear within 10 pages that Solomon lived and breathed this book for the decade he was working on it. It is also clear that writing it was cathartic to him, a labor of love in many ways, and that shows in the writing and in his interactions with these families. He fell in love with a lot of these kids, and admired a lot of these parents. He is not without criticism in parts, but it is obvious he is way more open-minded than many people would be, and ultimately he approaches every family with love and an open heart. It is really something to behold, not easily explained. This book asks hard questions and doesn’t provide easy answers, but it will turn your brain on and make it do some work, in a good way.

Honestly I can’t think of anything else to say that will clarify what exactly is so captivating about Far From the Tree but it is so, so good. There are endless things about this book that make it discussion-worthy and beautiful and shocking and sad and hopeful but it is just an all-around amazing read. Don’t miss it.

Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin

Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin
Published by Crown, an imprint of Random House

After successfully cultivating more happiness in her life over the course of her first happiness project, Gretchen Rubin came to the realization one day that the most important element of a happy life is her home, and with that in mind, she set up on another happiness project. Her goals were simple – to appreciate more deeply the people and things in her home that already brought her happiness, and to change the things in her home that could increase her happiness even more.

Regular readers may recall that I absolutely loved Gretchen’s first book about happiness, The Happiness Project, so it was practically a given that I’d read this one as soon as I could get my hands on it. I don’t have a whole lot to say about Happier at Home because in many ways it’s very similar to the other book, but I did enjoy it quite a bit.

This book is basically Rubin taking the concepts and ideas from the first book, and shrinking them, making them more specific, to focus just on home and family. She works on her relationship with her husband, and with each of her daughters, she cleans closets, she tackles chores she’d put off for years, all the things you’d expect in a memoir about making home an even more homey, happier place.

And I really liked it! I enjoy Rubin’s style and really can relate to her as a person; I think I might have said this after reading the first book, but I feel that we could be friends. I can relate to a lot of the stuff about wanting home to be a more peaceful, happy place – after all, isn’t that what we all are looking for in our homes?

I would definitely recommend reading the first book first, though, as so much of what Rubin talks about is explained in more detail in the first book. But read them both! I enjoyed both of them tremendously and found myself really inspired by many of Rubin’s ideas.

Faves from 2012: Nonfiction

Here are my top five nonfiction books I’ve read this year, in no particular order.

The Kitchen Counter Cooking School by Kathleen Flinn [my review] – A foodie memoir with recipes, what more could a girl ask for? Not only that, but the writing is great, the memoir reads almost like a novel, and the recipes are easy and the one I made was absolutely delicious! Totally loved this one.

Surprised by Oxford by Carolyn Weber [my review] – Okay, so this wasn’t a perfect book, but I did really like it and found it incredibly inspiring. Not only that, but it really hit home for me and resonated with many of my own personal experiences. If you like come-to-Jesus type memoirs, this is a really great choice.

MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche [my review] – I put this one on my list because I so got where Rachel was coming from. It is HARD to make friends as an adult woman. We women have a million things going on – jobs, husbands/boyfriends, family commitments, household chores, children in some cases – it’s hard to find the time to create and maintain new friendships. I also enjoyed this one so much because I liked Rachel’s personality and found it very easy to relate to her.

Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein [my review] – This is a really eye-opening look at the princess culture girls today are being raised in and inundated with from every angle. Orenstein never sensationalizes what she’s studying; rather, she gets down to the nitty-gritty and really gets to the heart of what’s going on. She also makes it clear that there are no easy answers to the question of the “right” way to raise a daughter.

Field to Feast: Recipes Celebrating Florida’s Farmers, Chefs, and Artisans by Pam Brandon, Katie Farmand, and Heather McPherson [my review] – This is an absolutely amazing, must-own cookbook. The recipes are great, the pictures are gorgeous, and the spirit is of using local, high-quality ingredients to make delicious food. I loved every single thing about this cookbook.

Up tomorrow: my favorites in young adult fiction!

Mac & Cheese Please! by Laura Werlin (Weekend Cooking)

Mac & Cheese Please! 50 Super Cheesy Recipes by Laura Werlin
Published by Andrews McMeel Publishing
Review copy provided by the publisher via NetGalley

From the publisher:

No one knows cheese better than Laura Werlin, and now she’s applying her expertise to everyone’s favorite macaroni dish. Inside, you’ll find 50 recipes organized by fun topics, such as Classic and Almost-Classic Mac n’ Cheese, Porky Mac n’ Cheese, Decadent Mac n’ Cheese, Lighten Up Mac n’ Cheese, Veggie Mac n’ Cheese, Party Time Mac n’ Cheese, and Breakfast for Dinner Mac n’ Cheese. The 50 recipes are presented in a fun format, like her previous title, Grilled Cheese Please! She even includes an appendix that includes info on all the food trucks and restaurants that specialize in mac n’ cheese.

So, I have to be honest here. Macaroni and cheese is one of my absolute FAVORITE comfort foods. But only if done right – I’m a mac & cheese snob. No Kraft for me. I like it with real cheese, onions, maybe some panko sprinkled on top, baked, you get the picture. So I was super excited about this cookbook because what better than fifty new recipes dressing up one of my favorite things?

And for someone looking for exactly that, this cookbook really delivers. The crazy variety of mac & cheese recipes Werlin thought up and provided to the reader boggles the mind. There are some strange combinations here, but they all sound strangely good too. Plus she does a good job with some extra tidbits, such as explaining how best to reheat homemade mac & cheese, how to take leftovers and make fried mac & cheese, and giving ideas on what cheeses work best for which flavor combinations. All very, very helpful.

So far I have made only one recipe from this book and that’s her standard macaroni and cheese. It was somewhat similar to others I have made, with a few minor changes, and it turned out quite delicious. I made it for my hubby and his sister and they both loved it (although I had to omit the onions, an ingredient I love, because hubby hates them and won’t go near them).

The only negatives about this cookbook is that these are not recipes for those watching weight or calories. These aren’t exactly what you’d call healthy recipes. BUT for a special treat, or for a kid who loves mac & cheese, or maybe for a side dish at a holiday get-together, many of these recipes would work great.

Recommended for mac & cheese lovers like myself!